Bio- sheet for Exhibition        Nov. ’86.

    In the last episode we learned that the Barneybees Bunch (Neil, our hero, Valerie the good lady spouse- the  Mrs. Painter, John 4, Miriam 3months, and Barney the Wonderdog) were all poised to move into an ex farm labourers cottage in Catfield- to boldly go where no damp-proofing or double glazing salesmen had ever gone.

     The big push came on Good Friday, and with the help of our friends, Supermandy, her faithful companion Gary, scourge of the drongos, and their beautiful assistant Samantha, the objective was achieved.
     So I have now finished my first season of commuting to ‘Walrus’ still based at Thurne. I managed the outboard dinghy alright, but all that bicycling was a bit extreme. I lost four belt notches worth of belly in the first month. Now I’m wearing trousers that have been laughing at me for two years. With a bit of luck, all the renovating work at home will help me to keep my new svelte look. I keep telling everyone , I wasn’t built for work; I was built for pleasure, but they don’t care. They just laugh at me. All part of the suffering, I suppose.
     Now we’re all set to snoogle down for our first winter in our new old house, to watch the shortening days blink by, grease and fortify the puddings laid by last Christmas, step up production of vino colapso, fatten the freezers for Yuletide, and when out with Barney, I’ll look with a cutting eye to untidy evergreens. I’ll finish the double glazing and insulating, bank up the fires from the fuel shed filled to capacity, and the old house will live again to the merry chortle of head-cracks  on beams, downdraft of smoke, and the murmur and flutter of happy ghosts.
     And as Tiny Tim said, ‘My gamme leg ain’t ‘arf givin’ me jyp’.