Jan ’89.
Mario Buonerotti
Insurance Broker, and Importer of Fine Coffin Furniture
Appt 1202
Etna House
Chicago Ill.
Dear Uncle Mario,
I’m having trouble with Barclaycard again. Just before Christmas, when I was ready to do my one day’s ‘Bliyz’ shopping, I found my card was out of date by four months. After asking a couple of people to make certain accommodations, I was able to shop with cash - I borrowed from the Kiddies’ piggy banks.
Now it could be that the Bozos on the Manchester fruit farm jst forgot to send me a new card, but you remember that spat I had with them last year, when they hit me with the red ink, final word? Well it occurred to me that someone might just be looking for early retirement and the ‘six chrome handles’ award. I’m writing to them by the same post as this, and hopefully I’ll get a new card by return, but in case they’ve decided to deal me out, would you please ask the Manchester Signorigli if they will do me the favour of accepting a phone call, should I make one? I’ve already taken the precaution of sending Don ‘Fredo a dozen quails eggs as an early Easter gift.
Eggs- that reminds me. His Grace sends his respects, and was pleased you enjoyed the swans’ eggs you took home, after your stay at Arundel, last Easter.
On a sadder note, you remember the newspaper reporter who kept pestering you at Norwich airport? Apparently someone gave him an inflatable dinghy for Christmas. He took it off shore on Boxing Day and it caught fire. I sent flowers, unostentatious, no name.
For the Barclaycard blunderers I had in mind something solid in banking. They’re building a new Lloyds in Knutsford- due to cast foundations in a month. But we’ll wait and see.
For the moment, please just accept the respects of your devoted nephew and Godson,
Neil
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Within a couple of days, I had a phone call from Barclaycard to say a new card was on its way -
“…and I take it you’ll call off the Mafia?”
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