Instead of going directly to the shores of the Sea of Galilee, I went north west, through Sepphoris and on to Cana, so that if Jesus had made such a detour, I would not go before him, and so lose him. At Cana that afternoon I visited my cousin, Benjamin, who had no news of Jesus, by which I knew he must have gone on at least to Magdala, or even Capernaum. I spent that evening and night with Benjamin and his pretty wife, Zeresh, and was delighted to learn that Zeresh was with Child. This gave me an excuse to press a small gift of money on them, urging them to buy some preparation for the Child, in my name, for I knew they could scarce afford to feed me for even a night, child or no.
     I rose early next morning with Benjamin, who always walked with the dawn, to his work in the fields. After seeing Benjamin off, and still hearing no sound of Zeresh who was under strict solicitation from Benjamin not to leave her rest until he returned for his late breakfast, I prepared to leave. As  a last expression of my concern for them I ‘forgot’ to pick up my food sack; I knew that the waybread, dried fish, cheese and small skin of wine would save work for Zeresh, and to add plausibility to my ruse, I dropped the sack together with my outer cloak negligently by the door.
     To make sure that the food was not held for my return, I left this note-
     ‘I shall be in Gaulanitis but a month or so, But if my work takes me south, I shall mayhap return home by the southern shore of the lake, so, if not before, I look forward to seeing you at the presentation of your son. May God bless and increase your house and your life’.

     I weighted the note with a coin, which Benjamin would know was for the reading of it by the village scribe. Feeling some light conceit at my inventiveness, I turned from the hearth and was almost through the door, when-

     “Judas”.

     I turned to face Zeresh.

     “You would forget your food and your cloak?”

     Yes Zeresh, I would. I would that I owned a sack of gold, a team of oxen and a bolt of Phoenaecian that I might forget them by your door, too”.

     Though untutored, Zeresh was not dull.

     “We are not paupers, Judas, that you must leave our home ill clad, and to hunger”.

     “Zeresh, is there not happiness here?”

     Oh Judas, yes! There is happiness to feed and protect for more years than we shall ever see!”

     “Yes, I know, and I envy you. Try as you will, you can give none of it to me. It is yours. You have made it. But let me make a little for you by easing your work and your food cupboard, and in the making of it, I will make it mine also. Leaving my cloak to warm Benjamin’s shoulders will warm not my shoulders but my heart”.

     “Why so serious, Judas? Is it that you feel your bachelordom pressing on you? You will marry, and you will know this happiness too”.

     “No, my time for marrying is more than ten years past. There is a purpose for me somewhere; I have felt this always, or perhaps that is a vanity that afflicts many. I had thought that my purpose lay in my father’s dealings, but though the reckoning of goods and accounts is easy to me, it has no life or joy in it”.

     “What of Benjamin’s feelings when he learns of your deeds?”

     “Benjamin must not know!”

     “We have no secrets, Judas; we are not long enough married for that”.

     “Not a secret then; a care. A care I ask you to carry for him. Our elders tell us that a woman suffers a man’s cares as she suffers her travail in childbirth: but as she raises up the child out of her travail, so she raises up joy for God and man, out of her cares”.

      “There was always a seriousness in you, Judas, and never more so than today. I will do as you ask. I will go back to bed, and Benjamin will find your note, when he returns”.

     “Thank you”.

     “Take whatever happiness you can from our home, Judas. There is none more welcome to it than you. We love you, though”- and here her tone lightened- “I confess I have not always loved you”.

     “No, I was not nor am a loveable creature”. Laughing, Zeresh excused-

     “You were always so serious, scowling and- apart, in a way”.

     I briefly explained my youthful obsession with Israel’s freedom, and my short but intense interest in the Zealots.

     “But they are dangerous in their fanaticism, Judas”.

     “Yes. I saw it and quickly abandoned them. They were a rabble; a herd of noisy, quarrelsome sheep, and without a shepherd they must soon throw themselves on the rocks. That way is not for me”. We stood in silence, for a moment, until I said-

     “I must go, and you must return to your rest”.

     “Take care, Judas, and thank you”.

     “Thank you Zeresh. Do you know, I have talked more to you, today, than anyone, or so it seems. I must leave. The sun is climbing, and so warm, who could think of carrying a cloak and a satchel in the heat that is to come?” At that I quickly slipped through the door. I walked up through the village, and struck out for Magdala.