Postscript

     The more astute reader will already have noticed that Judas, or perhaps it might be more circumspect to refer simply to the writer- whoever, has left us with two unanswered questions- why was Judas given this extensive time of contemplation, in the desert, and has Jesus really turned his face from Judas for ever? For what they are worth, permit me to offer my own conclusions.
     It seems to me that you have just read the first answer, in that he was given time precisely to write this document, and having spent almost forty years in the contemplation of it, he can hardly be accused of acting precipitately.
     The second question is much heavier, but believing God to be forgiving and loving (and we do have this on rather high authority) I must believe that having born the two awesome burdens laid upon him, first to fulfil the scripture, then to record that fulfilment, Judas was eventually redeemed.
     Of course, if Judas’ guilt is washed away, the winds will blow much more coldly on our own. As he foretells- all men think their guilt as nothing, compared to his. I have heard it said that, in prison, a child killer is a target for abuse by other offenders, who are relieved to find and condemn a miscreant worse than they.
     On the other hand, there is the complete lack of authentication, or corroborative evidence. Perhaps most readers will find it least disturbing to dismiss the whole tale as the fabrication of an old rogue; a last naughty jape at a world he thought was wearying of romance.
     I must admit that, against all the odds, I still prefer to think that Judas was finally granted requiem eternam et lux perpetua. Amen.

Post postscript

     I must impart a little late evidence of possible relevance. It was quite some time after finishing the transcript that I chanced to turn over the last sheet and discover what I can only describe as a doodle, for want of a better word.  I reproduce it on the back cover- appropriate, as that is where I found it.
     Your eye will be drawn, no doubt, as mine was, to the large single letter which has a suggestion of the brass rubbing about it. After some clumsy delving, (I was in the right place- the library of a  theological explorer) I identified it as the letter ‘K’ or more interestingly  ‘Q’- for Qmran? The word following it, i.e. reading right to left, (I learned that much) certainly has the right number of letters and vowel points, I think. Beyond that, I refuse to speculate. Better stay silent and be thought a fool, than speak and confirm it, as someone said.
     However, I did rush to refresh my memory of J B Phillips’ New Testament in modern English, with its excellent background chronology, and his evocation of the legendary vanished 1st Gospel, which scholars refer to as the ‘Q’ Document.
     Now did our writer begin to draft his opus much earlier, whilst convalescing with the Essenes, at Qmran? And did his draft get mislaid, or copied? Or was Grandfather simply more devious than even I suspected? I really cannot say. You must decide for yourself.