I knew kick-starting this year’s Christmas letter would be difficult, but not in the way I had anticipated. I’ve just had to explain to ‘the Jolly Old Elf’ that his services are no longer required.
We were discussing the franchising (I’ll tell you later) over a samovar of his gluwein. Children all grow up, eventually- fact. You’d have thought he’d got used to it by now. I know, now, how Christopher robin felt when explaining to winnie the pooh about going to school, that day in the circle of trees. I said-
ook, all that’s different is that your work load
has changed pattern- it’s happening all the
time; some in, some out” he was quiet. He Just
stuffed more reindeer poo in his pipe (well
that’s what it smells like) then he said-
“I still think it’s sad when children get too old for father Christmas”.
“look” I said, “my family will never be too old. They just won’t be making the same demands on your resources, that’s all. We’ll still do the stockings”.
I said ‘we’ because I’ve been in the habit of sub-contracting- the franchising I mentioned earlier, what with him being busy with the kiddies, because as I’ve said before, everybody gets a stocking at Barneybees. He just looked a bit ‘truccy’ and said-
“I’d rather do two pillowcases than six stockings”.
took a deep breath and said-
“in fact, it’s only five”. I’m afraid I lied last year. I let you think Valerie’s mum was on the mend, and I knew she wasn’t. we all knew it was only a matter of time before she felt the struggle too hard and the rest too Inviting. On January 7th, in the morning, at the age of 79 she just went from a light sleep to a deeper, more satisfying slumber. She simply went to her rest, and none around her begrudged it. She’ll have come in for her share of ‘a seat closer the hearth and a glass of chat’ on the other side, I have no doubt. She was a simple soul who appreciated a nice cup of tea, a pair of good shoes, a blouse of a pleasant colour, and who had more than earned all she ever came by.
I had said as much as this to the ‘ould fella’ who was still sitting there looking sad, so I went on-
I’ll tell you this- if you could ask her now, she’d tell you she still believes in father Christmas, and my Mom would say the same. In fact if you drop in on Christmas eve for a go of the port, you’ll very likely find queenie and betty already there, waiting for you”. He looked up at me, sudden, and asked, so touchingly-
“will you still put the port out for me?”
“well of course I will, you silly old fool. How could I not?” we sat quiet for a moment or two, then I said-
“I can’t think what you’d find to put in the sack of a boy who is currently looking at sixth form colleges, a boy who, this year was invited to cruise around Turkish islands on a private yacht, a boy who is altogether taller, heavier, stronger than his father. On principle, I won’t say more intelligent, but I will definitely say more learned, and with a keener wit, the like of which many would never understand, much less match. As for Miriam, as her father ,I fel qualified to say little. Apart from having just brought home bronze and gold medals for synchronised swimming, she is actress, dancer, singer, musician, artist, writer, cook, academicienne. She has queenie’s refinement and gentility; she has betty’s selfless generosity and warmth. They both live on in her”. A tug at my sleeve, and through clouds of reindeer incense-
Es but do they believe in me?” and the anxiety on his face made me gulp with-
“listen, we are talking of valerie’s children- that same Valerie who is now giving double value to the little mites in two local schools (catfield one day, Potter heigham three) who, if ever the equal opportunities wallahs ever got on to you, could pull your job out from under you. Need I say more? And my children. Well, who am I talking to now? Let me just say this. Your name is honoured before the barneybees hearth just as much as the name of the child whose birth we celebrate. I’m embarrassed to admit that his name is not invoked as much as it might be, but it will have to serve that we try to live by his values as much as by yours. We try, I hope, to treat each soul as we would him, and (again with hope) we try to receive each soul as we would you. But do bear in mind that when waiting for a full bus in the rain, it isn’t nearly so easy to be philanthropic as it is when sitting here supping this- ‘ere this gluwein’s a bit vicious innit?”
must have nodded off then, because when I next looked up, he’d gone. But he’ll be back. He does like my port. They’ll all be back in fact, if the truth be told, they never went away- none of them. they never will. They can be difficult to spot, especially when it’s dash-and-panic time. the shadowlight of a peaceful hearth is more their style. So sit quiet this Christmas, and they will come again to surround you, with their memories and their love.
All our love and best wishes for Christmas.