Anglican Water                                                                                            
Mar ’88.

Dear Sirs,
               One hears so many stories, these days, of Anglican Water stuffing owls with mercury, poisoning Norwich water supply, flooding old ladies’ cellars with sewage, that I thought how nice it would be if just one person could offer a testimonial to your credit.
     Unfortunately, I don’t qualify.
     My wife and I moved house at Easter ’86. Some weeks previously, we had received an unsolicited card from you saying ‘We hear you are moving; when and where to?’ or words to that effect. We filled it in and sent it back. Heard nothing.
     We moved house and still heard nothing.
     Just over a year after moving, we received another card asking ‘When did you move in?’
We filled it in and sent it back. Heard nothing.
     UNTIL this week, when out of the blue, we received an account for two years. Not only do you expect us to pluck 200 pound notes out of thin air without any advance intimation, but you have the temerity to offer, as an incentive, a discount of 2.5%!
     When you become a pubic company, as is rumoured, you will find that money takes on a lot of new dimensions- it is not just a guaranteed pay cheque- money is power! Money in itself is worthless and rots if left unattended. It is only good for what it will do, so if you have money you use it. You don’t just sit on it, or every time you fart you blow holes in it. No, you turn it into something else- something that holds its value against the time it takes to use it.
     In other words, if we had had £200 before your account arrived, we would have turned into freezer meat, firewood, a new donkey for the wife’s rag and bone cart.
     Of course, money can be acquired if one has the skill and/or can pay the price, but acquiring money is a subject in itself, which I will deal with in my next lecture.
     For the moment I will make you two offers, only one of which you may refuse. I can pay you the full amount immediately, which will cost you 10% discount, or you can have just the current year’s charge by Oct 31st and the arrears at my convenience over the next 12 months, which is a period of time favourably comparable to the length of time it took you to sort yourselves out, and don’t tell me you were waiting for the new rateable value; you could have issued an interim a/c based on the old value, which is what the rates office did.
     So it’s in your court- ball wise. Any undue delay will have to be reflected in the final arrangements.


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Result- Anglian Water dropped the whole first year’s charges!
                                                
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