Rates Dept.
May ‘87
After 12 months rates evasion
Dear Mr. Sands,
You’re getting closer, but you aren’t there yet. The letter is good, apart from the last crack. I didn’t need clarifickating- you did, or rather your rates demand did, and still does. Don’t start screaming; get your copy out and look at it. I don’t pay rates on letter; I pay rates on a rate demand document, and yours doesn’t make sense.
Annual rates- domestic- £86.85- doesn’t appear in the letter
Cash payments- doesn’t agree with the letter.
Increased rateable value- doesn’t agree with the letter.
I know the hand written bit says different, but anybody can write bits on, and a rates demand shouldn’t need to carry a translation. We are talking about a legal document issued by a local government department to form the basis of a financial transaction.
SO I WANT IT RIGHT!
Now let’s try again. I’d prefer the machine to do it all, but if it can’t manage without a human hand and a biro, can we at least have a signature, a name and an I.D.?
You forgot my expenses, which, without prejudice, are now £25.
Now take your time; don’t rush it. I’ve had a word with Barclays and they have assured me they don’t mind hanging onto my money for a while longer.
My best to you and yours; my second best to them and theirs. Any left over to be sent to the Thurne Home for the Piscatorial and Financially Feeble but Jolly Good Fellows.
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Mr Sands had one more try, then-
June ‘87
Alright, Mr. Sands,
I’ll let you off the hook. Enclosed is a cheque; take a fiver out for yourself. Tell Ivy Bensley* I said it’s okay. My mother used to have all her records- good band, they.
Regards,
*Vi Bensley- Chair, NNDC. Ivy Benson- female band leader, 1940s.