Att: B.A.Barrell (nee Connelly)
Summer ‘90
Dear Mr. Barrell,
I received your post today (thank you) the first sheet of which said ‘send you’re a/c for 89/90 so we can assess your claim’, the subsequent sheets comprising the assessment completed. Read that again. Do you get it?
I’m assuming you want the 89/90 a/c relevant to next year’s claim. They accounts don’t exist, yet- they’re only a rumour. Out here in the real world, you don’t rush into accounts without a great deal of psyching up. You think about it for a while. Wait. Then, one evening, after a good meal and plenty of Barneybeejolais, you roll a snout, fill your glass again, then open the box, tip out all the little bits of paper, and start to weave your spells.
Well, I’ve done all that and sent the results to my accountant. Now we wait for him. We don’t chase him because when he sends the completed accounts, he sends a bill with them. It may come within your 4wk limit; it may not.
Yes, and I wasn’t best pleased by that. You asked for the initial information within 30 days, and you got it in 4. You then took
6 months to respond; you’d got important documents there- tax assessment, certified accounts, and they didn’t merit even the courtesy of an acknowledgement of receipt.
I didn’t chase you, tho’ I’d no idea how long you would take, but you must have known. Yes, I know you’re busy; we’re all busy, Mr. Barrell. The difference is- you accumulate delays and we poor schmucks have to put up with it. Yet before I even cause a delay, you’re telling me what the penalties will be.
Well, let’s not fall out. I’ll send you the accounts when I get them, and that will have to be soon enough, and if you’re going to sit on them for six months, well you can always practice with blank sheets of paper ‘til you get the real thing, can’t you?
I must say, you’ve done well, so far. We’re very grateful for the 70 notes. It might run to a new donkey for the wife’s rag and bone cart. The last one pegged out last winter, tho’ there’s still some left in the freezer.
Now, another thing. I have a ‘mole’ in the Norwich Poll Tax Dept., (code name ‘Mandy’) and she tells me you have another little item called ‘Transitional Relief’. Perhaps you’d like to fill me in on that, deal me in, cut me a slice, as it were? It won’t do any harm; might net a few bob.
Is my friend, Mr. Sand, from the old Rates Office with you? Take the old feller out for a pint on me, and have one yourself- take the money out of the cheque the wife already sent you. Then, with the change, you could come to my exhibition at the Assembly House in Norwich, 5th- 10th November, and buy a nice big picture for the office.